Who I Am
by rimatouya98
Summary: A Hetalia fanfic


I don't know how I came to exist in this world, or if I even should exist. Everyone sees right through me, litteraly. Like I am invisible.

The one person who can see me is my step-dad, Curt, and he only sees me when he's beating me. But that's when he's drunk. At least he knows I'm there.

But I've about had it-no I have had it. I'm running. Away. I'll keep running until I feel like I'm in a place no one knows me so I can start over and maybe be noticed by someone.

That's what I did. Three days ago. I ran to a new town I had never been to before. I wanted to disguise myself, so I cut my hair and dyed it lighter; or rather I bleached it. My hair was now a light tan and shoulder length.

I enrolled in the school there. It's a strange school though. The names are different-strange I mean-and interesting in their own way. One person has noticed me and been kind enough to show me around the campus. Roderich was his name.

His accent was strange to me, definately foreign. His dark hair had a glossy look to it, like it was very well taken care of. And like me, he has glasses. He seemed like he wanted to purposely avoid one of the other boys, but I don't know why.

Lastly he took me to the main office. He said he had to get to class, so he left me to introduce myself to the headmaster on my own. At the front desk, though, was only another student. He too had dark hair.

"Are you new here?" he asked me. He had a sort of Japanese accent.

"Uh, yeah," I said. Well rather whispered. I knew I must have looked dumbstruck.

The other student moved behind the desk and began filing through papers. Was he in charge of things like this? He had just picked up a pen when he introduced himself as Honda Kiku. He then asked my name.

"I'm Matthew," I said. "Matthew W-"

His look caused me to stop. He looked startled, like I had said something wrong. After a moment, he relaxed and set the papers and pen aside. "You're not new then," he said as he picked up something and handed it to me. A dorm key. MY dorm key.

"I, uh..." I didn't know what to do, so I just took the key. What is going on?

Roderich had acted like he'd known me for a bit of time, and now Kiku was acting about the same. What in the world was going on?!

"W-werr," Kiku said. "Your roommate wirr be grad to see you, I'm sure."

What? I. Am. Lost. Lost for words and what was going on. Can anyone explain what's happening? No? Oh, okay...

I took the room key, being cautious. I smiled awkwardly and left the main office to head to the dorms. I figured I'd meet the so-called "roommate" I had just been told about. "Dorm 203" was what the key said.

Second floor of the dorm building, second door on the left. I put the key in the door and opened it to find three others in the room. I thought I only had ONE roommate!

I'm pretty sure I looked like an idiot just standing in the doorway, but I didn't want to get involved in a conversation that I would have absolutely no idea what was being talked about.

One of the boys looked up at me. "M-Matthew?!" he stuttered as he sat upright on one of the beds. He had hair that was a little darker than mine and glasses as well. Then I noticed the odd cowlick on his head. He seemed to know me like anyone else I came into contact with.

"Is... that really you?" a British student (obvious by the accent) asked me. I didn't know what to say. Does everyone here know me?!

"Uh..." I guess I should play along. "Yes, it is me," I said, kind of quiet. Like my usual self.

"Duuuuude!" the one with the cowlick said as he jumped up. "Where have you been?!"

"You just... disappeared one day without telling anyone. And now you're back," the Brit said. Why did he keep pausing after a couple words then continue when he spoke?

"I uh... I've been busy..." I started. Then I noticed the three of them looking confused. "With things I needed to take care of." Still playing the part of the "Matthew" they were talking about. I don't even know any other Matthews!

"Well," the Brit said. "Don't just wander off without telling someone first."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I replied. I am still lost. I don't even know their names. Guess I'll have to listen in on other conversations to find out their names.

"Well, what're you waiting for, man?" the one with the cowlick said. "Come on and settle back in here! It has been lonely without you here!"

I walked quietly to the bigger, more open part of the room. I only just got a better look at the third boy. He looked more-I'm sorry, a LOT more-feminine than the other two boys. "Come now, mon garçon," he said. He made it sound very perverted. Don't tell me he's in my room.

"Well," the Brit said. "I've got work to do, so I'll be leaving now."

"Alrighty, Arthur," the one with the cowlick said. "See ya later dude!"

Arthur. I'll have to remember that.

"Alfred, you twat. You have work to do too, so you should get on it."

Alfred. The one with the cowlick. Remember this as well.

"I'll be going too, then I guess," the more feminine one said.

"Okay, see ya, Francis," Alfred said.

And lastly Francis. So now I know the names of five people at this entire school. How will I get through this year with only knowing five people?

Just as Francis and Arthur were leaving, a young girl stopped the door from closing. She had longer hair that was about the same color as Alfred's. "Hey, Alfred, you got a-" she stopped when she saw me. Or at least I thought she saw me.

"What do ya need, Elizabeta?" Alfred asked.

"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if you have seen Roderich. I can't find him anywhere."

Roderich? The guy who showed me around a little while ago. "I've seen him," I said quietly.

"You have?" Elizabeta asked, not directed at me. Did she even see me? She then gave a look of surprise. "Are you... Matthew?" she asked.

"Y-yes," I responded. Why was I stuttering? Maybe it's because she's kind of pretty?

"I..." she took a breath when she paused. "I never thought we'd see you here again. Anyway... You said you've seen Roderich, right? Where have you seen him?"

"He showed me around campus when I got here. Then he said he had to get to a class," I said. Then I realized the way I said it made it sound like I had never been here before, which I haven't. But playing the part of the Matthew they knew, I sounded a bit stupid I guess.

"What class would that be?" Elizabeta asked herself as she came in the room. "Classes are over for the day, so that makes me wonder where he actually went."

Alfred shrugged. So I saw from the corner of my eye. "I dunno where he would have gone then," he said.

"He better not be with that monster of a guy, Gilbert. I'll beat him with my frying pan again if I have to." Elizabeta sounded serious. Wait, did she say beat him again with her frying pan? What does she mean, "again"?

"How many times have you hit that guy already this year?" Alfred asked.

"At least twenty," Elizabeta began to count on her fingers.

I stood there awkwardly off to the side but still in between them. I slowly backed away a bit and seemed to disappear because they paid no mind to me. I was just in front of the small table in between the two beds and I realized that I couldn't hear Alfred or Elizabeta anymore. I was only a few feet away from them, though.

I saw their mouths moving like they were talking, but what they were saying I couldn't hear. I also started feeling a little dizzy. I closed my eyes and sat on one of the beds, trying to calm myself. This has happened before, so I know what to do. Something, though, was different about this time.

I saw something. A sort of big room with no windows. It was dark except for a small light in the corner of the room. I saw someone. I couldn't see their face, though. Something stained the clothes he wore. Who am I seeing? I thought to myself.

"Mattie! Yo, dude! Hey!" Alfred's voice snapped me awake. I looked up at him in confusion and it must have been obvious that something had happened to me to Alfred. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I looked down to try to clear my head. "I-I'm fine," I said. The image of the person I saw was still fresh in my mind. Was someone trying to tell me something? But who would be?

I saw Elizabeta standing in front of the desk with a worried look on her face. She seemed really concerned about me.

Alfred stood back from me and looked down at me. He too had a concerned look on his face. Did I scare them that much? "Really, I'm fine," I said to them both. "This is normal," I added when they still looked worried.

"If you say so," Alfred said.

Elizabeta sighed. "Well, it's getting closer to curfew, so I better go," she said. She left the room but glanced back at me before the door shut. I must have really scared her. Both of them actually.

"Are you sure you're okay, Mattie?" Alfred asked me. "You look a bit pale in the face."

I tried to give a smile to show I was okay. "I'm really okay," I said. My heart was beating fast like I had just had the wits scared out of me.

Alfred turned and went to his bed. He sat on it and seemed to be watching me closely. I didn't look up at him. The image I saw was still in my mind. Who would be trying to contact me? Through minds at that?


End file.
